It’s not true when they say “Chivalry is dead”, there are a handful of guys still out there committed to bringing it back, more or less “Chivalry is scarce”, but not quite dead… yet.
There used to be a code that most men lived by, long ago, the “ladies first” code, where men used to hold open doors for women, they used to ask to dance-and actually knew how, they paid for every meal with no dispute, they went out of their way to make a woman feel like a woman. Now over the years, more and more women have pushed for women’s rights and “the independant woman” was born, we can open our own doors, we can pay for our own meals, we can hail our own cabs, we can be your boss, we can, we can, we can. Now I’m not saying that women’s rights are a bad thing, equality in the workplace, voting rights, wearing pants, those are all fantastic things! But what the “we can” mentality has done is robbed men of their “gentlemen” mentality. We spend so much time doing things on our own, not letting guys do things for us, worrying about being a bother, when really, that’s how it should be!
I have some of the most amazing guy friends ever. When I first met these guys-probably 4 years ago-none of them were really gentlemen, because they hadn’t matured yet, but as we all grew up, and learned a whole lot-and are still learning-they became more and more gentlemen-like and started to put the women in their lives first. It is really a shock to the system when guys you’ve known for so long start doing that, for me, it’s really hard to accept any gentleman-ly gesture they do. I always feel like a bother, like I don’t deserve this amazing treatment, they always let me sit in the front of the car, they serve me first, they escort me on their arms when we’re walking, they make sure I’m feeling okay when I’m sick, they offer to pay for things, and I could go on for a long time… Point is, for me it has been the toughest thing to be okay with the guys giving up their seats or just generally putting me first.
I’ve lived so long with the same mentality that most women have, that “women have to do everything for themselves because they’re now equals to men”, truth is, chivalry has nothing to do with not being equals, it’s about treating women the way we were designed to be treated, with respect, love, care and courteous behaviour.
SO WOMEN-including myself-start being okay with men treating you like real women! Start letting them do that, because if you say no enough times, they will stop, that’s how chivalry will go down the drain completely, but if we all work really hard, we can bring it back! I’d also like to thank all the men in my life that have worked so hard to be real gentlemen, and I promise to try really hard to let you be real men and not put up a fight every time you’re just trying to be a gentleman. :)
